I’ve been Thinking

For as long as I can recall I’ve been thinking.

Thinking is the thing I do the most of.

I read, you know that? I read. I reckon I read more than people who red novels for entertainment. I read more than scriptwriters, more than actors, more than newspaper reporters, more than politicians, more than librarians.

Trouble it they read something new every day, and I read the same thing over and over again.

Mr Forde taught me that. How to read and understand. With my short term memory, ahhh what short term memory? I don’t think I have one of those! I liken ‘short term memory’ to RAM ‘random access memory’ in a computer. My RAM is defunct! It’s always been defunct. I start a line of text, say a sentence, and by the time I get to the end of it, I’d forgotten what the start was. I do that today too, every day’s the same.

My ROM is pretty good, ‘read only memory.’ in a computer. I can’t rely on my RAM, I have to get all information into ROM as quickly as possible, and there’s only 1 way to do that, read the same thing over and over again.

I read really technical research about Sex Chromosome Aneuploidy.

Most people don’t even know what Aneuploidy means. Not only did I have to work out what it means, but also how to say it. Some medical terms are really complicated. I know why medical researchers and doctors do that, in medicine words have specific meaning, so that anybody reading it, who knows the language, can have an exact understanding of what is being discussed. There is no room for colloquial misunderstandings, they are eliminated by the language.

I know the meanings of words I can’t say. I’ve never heard anybody say them and I have nothing to mimic.

Whenever I think I know how a word is said, then I hear another pronunciation I say it both ways, frequently, in the hope that one of them is right. Such as dys-gen-e-sis or is it dys-gene-sis? I don’t know! I’ve been thinking about that one for a while now, like I say, I’ve been thinking.

I don’t know of any books that teach people to read who have no short term memory. It really doesn’t matter how long a sentence is in that case, I’m going to forget it anyway. So over and over again I go, over and over again. That’s how I learn. It takes ages!

For you to do it you have to be bloody dedicated. I am actually talking to you the reader here, that’s why I used the word ‘you’ as it has specific meaning, which isn’t ‘I!’ I already know I’m dedicated.

So with mathematics my teachers just gave up teaching me too early, they needed to go over and over and over again until I got it, but they didn’t. I had to learn that language that I didn’t understand in the same time as people with a normal short term memory. A language that isn’t discussed on a daily basis by everybody. It wasn’t discussed in my home, well where I lived, put it that way.

And science is a language too, but it uses English, mostly, to teach it’s principles. I’m not supposed to start sentences with ‘and’ it’s bad grammar, apparently? But that’s my style, you’ll just have to get used to it. I’m not supposed to start a sentence with ‘but’ either, for the same reason.

[Take a deep breath now.]

I’ve been thinking, I do a lot of thinking. Thinking is the thing I do the most. Many XXY guys have a non existent short term memory.

Why is that?

Many XXY guys don’t like reading because of their non existent short term memory.

Why is that?

Why is it that as we all have the same additional chromosome that we’re affected by it differently or similarly?

There is not one single aspect of having that additional X that is uniform across everybody who has it, not even infertility! There is actually 1 XXY guy I know of who is naturally fertile, and does not have any hypogonadism disease. As there is 1, there must be more I’m thinking.

It seems to me this extra X isn’t the problem. It has the problem on it. Chromosomes have genes. Most of the additional X is inactivated. For all people with more than 1 X, only 1 X is completely active.

Got any clues?