Today is Testosterone day, no I tell a lie, last Sunday was Testosterone day, but it’s so damn cold at this time of year being naked, my preferred state of dress for my testosterone injection, is off putting. I lose my nerve in cold weather.
I hate wearing clothes for it, I got used to not wearing clothes when the Nurses took over from the Doctors to give me my injection. It is much more comfortable. Wherever my clothes are touching me that’s where my muscles flinch, and flinching is a definite ‘no no’ when receiving a testosterone injection.
I have options though, I can pay a Nurse to give me it. It’s always warm at my doctors surgery, but I have to wait until Monday, or Tuesday, and I really need it now, and I have it now. Oh the stress of it all, I wish I lived on the Equator!
I probably have enough testosterone, I can put it off another day, that’s how I can convince myself I’m doing the right thing when I know I’m not. I’m just making myself sick with worry. Any old excuse will do in cold weather.
I can have a shower, yeah definitely, that’ll warm me up and my injection too, I can’t inject cold testosterone, that’s self inflicted torture.
I really need to bolster myself up, ‘bite the bullet’ as they say, and just do it.
I need a mug of coffee.
See how I use lots of ‘I’ statements, I just did it again! This is how I am with the disease I’m treated for and I know so much about it, I’m a walking encyclopedia on XXY and associated medical & psychiatric conditions. Ask me anything about XXY and if I don’t know I’ll bloody well find out, nothing will be hidden from me, never again, making up reasons to not have the treatment of the disease I’m supposed to be treated for!
People now want me to go out for the afternoon. They want me to buy them burgers. I can’t be bothered doing anything, I think I’ll just go to bed.
I did it. I feel much better, not that the testosterone has had any time to have any effect, just that I did something I’ve been putting off for over a week, knowing that has a depressing effect. Imagine how bad I’d get if I put it off for even longer? I imagine that, and it wasn’t so painful after my shower to warm up.
Now where are those people who want burgers?